deja vu

Maybe the best PAF ever. Definitely the best PAF I have seen, or for that matter anyone present in OAT has even seen. I was bothered after the PAF. Unlike most others, I got in touch with my feelings almost two days after the PAF; and that too for a different reason.

Somehow the PAF failed to arouse any sentiments inside me. I am worried why did that happen, especially when every single person sitting day was left completely overwhelmed. Have I become a little too critical of everything? So much so, that I fail to appreciate something in its entirety while only focussing at finding the faults? I am definitely a fault-finder but now I have to think whether I have reached a level where such an attitude becomes unacceptable or not.

Alternatively, lack of appreciation could be simply because of a lame prejudice against the person involved. Looks unlikely in this case but who knows?

Time to think.

####

BTP last date got postponed by 10 days. Might actually work with some enthu. Last sem, last opportunity to prove something to myself (in academic matters)... pray that laziness doesn't prevail like always.

Random Musings

A quick note about the subject line before I move on to a proper blog entry. Somehow I have always imagined by blog's name as Random Musings. The imagination was part of my day dreamings... and the name somehow appealed a lot mostly because I saw myself writing funny arbit stuff varying from movies to rock music to intellectual stuff like history or economics. Traces of such attempts can be found in the blog that really exists, this blog. Quite a few things had accumulated (as always) to be penned down. And I have started off with the aim of writing down as many as possible. Random Musings follow:

.1. Valfi season is round the corner. All fourthies seem excited, well not exactly all. I have lost so much enthu about IIT life that I am hardly feeling a thing for valfi. The funny thing is, that valfi and profile writing held equal importance to me as a wedding holds for Monica and the gang in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I can distinctly remember the spamming days of yore, when I argueably made my most beloved friends - Pritam, Dixi, Akshay and Sandhya. And among those scores of threads came one which carried first impressions and profiles about each other. I was so excited about the prospect of profile writing... but now it's more like a burden.

.2. Techfest Handing-Over treat last week. It seemed like yesterday when I blogged about my first HO treat, exactly two years back when I was sitting down trying to grasp the fundae. It was intensive, amusing, enlightening and very distateful (to me). Fundaes about ethics, morals, selfless work et al were being poured like water; and so was alcohol from our money (1.5k per person). When I grew up a little, I rallied against such a HO treat where thousands were being wasted on something that amounted to so much little. It did have a huge sentimental (and pyschological) impact on too many other people but after being a part of TF family for so much time I consider myself eligible enough to call it BullShit!

But I still respect(ed) the sentiments of others around. No wonder I was confronted with the question of attending HO of 2k6. Careful enough to not hurt anyone, I did go to HO; and felt guilty about it. One year is a long time, isn't it. So much changes. This year I was bold/honest enough to stick to what I firmly believed. Saying 'no' to Bedi is among the worse things but important in a way. Honestly speaking, my self-respect increased. It isn't too difficult to feel good about yourself, is it?

.3. Academics: Final semester carries only burdens right now. BTP and Chemical Processes II. In-sem total in the course is low enough to give me nbd during end sem. Hopefully, like the 10 odd courses that I have salvaged from a similar situation, I shall pass even now. On the other hand, BTP is getting out of hand. I am running out of ideas. Don't think I will have trouble passing. Have atleast met the guide enough number of times to ensure that he doesn't flunk me but not being able to solve a problem can become very frustrating. A couple of good ideas originated while bathing but all suffered a disappointing death. With the report submission on 7th April, i am yet to figure out how to full even 15 pages. Help!

.4. Thanks to my brother, Vaibhav, I am a proud owner of the super psued iPOD video. Not sure whether I have already mentioned about it, but am having a ball using the slick thing. Music on demand is best thing in life. Scores over sex too. :D

.5. For those who don't know me yet, I am rather senti person, a lot more emotional than I appear to be. A couple of insensitive remarks (even if totally unintentional) in an already awkward friendship (coutesy of the spam) could really hurt me bad. Not feeling too good about it, after all she is my first crush ever. And I have complained quite a bit about our friendship on blogs... but somehow never been able to strike a dialogue with her. Ironic and sad.

.6. PAFs: Missed H2 PAF as bro was in town. The next one, H6-10-13 presentation, gave the most impactful first presentation among the ones I have seen. It was largely due to the multi-storyed building built with an appreciably good FA work done on it. The execution appeared pretty flawless while a couple of choreos impressed me a lot too (not just because there was certain Ms. G whom I have liked from the day one). The prod, however impressive, wasn't an 100% product of IIT factory. Which probably was the biggest turn-off about the PAF. Its repercussions are far too many and disturbing. Even though I have never been a part of any PAF and hence have little sentiments attached to it, I shall be curious to see how things go 3-4 years down the line.

Note: I have used "sentiments" quite a few times.

..have more things to write. But don't have time right now. Part 2 might follow.
(ain't doing a proof read.. so like me don't point out the mistakes \:)/)

Homosexuality

I distinctly remember my first trip to my favourite city, Bombay, in 1999. Many episodes of the trip makes it most memorable for me; and also the most disturbing. Luckily for me, at the age of 16 years I was hardly aware of the phenomenon known as homosexuality. However I have vague memories of expressing doubts as to why marriages only happen between people of opposite sex, the answer was always evaded in an obvious manner. Moving on to the Bombay episode, while returning in train a man kissed me. It felt gross - no doubt, but only because he was a stranger and not a good looking girl I would fantasize about. It took me a good one years time to realize what exactly had happened that night in the train.

Trust me this was not to be the only gay advance on me. There were three more, all in trains. And unlike the first guy these weren't so subtle or prudish. But thanks to the hostel life I was mentally strong enough to not get freaked out by these advances. In some ways it was flattering to know that I was being hit upon (maybe not by the sex of my choice but anyway...).

I am yet to interact in a positive manner with a homosexual. To start with, it's tough to find one in a closed society like our's. Also, assuming that atleast 1.5% of males are reported to be homosexual worldwide it's safe to rule out the non-existence of gays in IIT UGs. In a place where students are supposed to be most progressive, it's surprising that I am yet to meet any gay. Ofcourse I have heard of people being gay and have myself doubted a couple to be gay, nothing conclusive can said about their sexual preferences.

I am left with much doubt about various issues (specially the mentallity) concerning gays. Ramanujan's biography cited examples of some of the famous homosexual intellectuals who played key roles in Britain, early in the last century. The Apostles, the most famous secret society of Cambridge is known to house a large number of gays including Keynes, Hardy et al. Over the years I have been hugely successful in understanding a large number wholly concentrating on their sexual sphere; much like Freud. Would be an interesting exercise to interact (consciously) with homosexuals.

Lesbianism: I need to conduct a little bit of research on this topic. A brief survey conducted by me leads to me conclusion that all women have traces of homosexual instincts. Wow!!! Isn't it? :D

BTW, if any gay IITian is reading my blog please do get in touch with me. I promise your privacy (if needed).

now why do a project?

The Match

"Take that Graeme Smith!" Ponting scored 164 off 105 balls.

A new ODI record. Could there be a better scorecard than this one?

Gibbs has a reply. 175 in 111 balls.

Punch of Victory.

Legends

I Bow To Thee

Argueably the greatest match in the history of ODI Cricket. I still think we're gonna wake up tomorrow morning realizing it was a dream.

Split!

Break-ups aren't nice; but they are unavoidable too.